Reflection 1

A personal reflection on the separation caused by military training and deployment from the perspective of an Air Force wife.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

not so much...

So I thought today was a good day, it turns out it's not.  I feel so overwhelmed about everything but this looming separation takes the cake.  I just don't know how I can handle this.  It's absolutely hurting me that I can't see Aaron or talk to him in person, that I don't have that support is eating at me.  For example, we've got some upcoming car repairs that need to be taken care of, that's his area of expertise and aside from oil changes, he's the one who takes care of that.  I hate that he can't be here for the minor body work to be done to our car (which is only 2 yrs old), it may seem petty but I just don't want to handle all that.  It's not really the car repairs or anything in particular, I guess I'm just nervous for something to happen that I will need and not have his support since he won't physically be here.  Maybe if he was here I would feel differently because if things go wrong I know I can count on him to try to find a solution but that's not the case.  I'm almost driven to tears by this thought, I don't know why but I am.  My daughter just asked my what I was writing and said that it must be important since I'm typing a lot and quickly.  I don't want to have to be like this, I feel selfish for feeling this way, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know...  I just want him back, I can't believe that this is only training then on to the real thing which will be infinitely longer, at least it will feel infinitely longer.  I hate this feeling, I just want my wonderful husband back...  our daughter misses her Daddy so much...  please hurry up and let this all be over quickly!!!  I feel like crying...

No comments:

Post a Comment